Nano Film Review #28 -- Superman/Batman: Apocalypse

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse. Terrible film. Terrible, terrible film.

I hate it when films have such great potential for being emotional, character driven action films . . . only to decide to forgo any actual emotion beats to make sure they hit all the action beats.

Here's a film about Superman discovering that he's not the last, living person from his planet . . . only to have his worst enemy convince her to turn against him.

But the emotion in this movie is as flat as the animation. Superman leanrs he has a cousin, and he says with no emotion at all: "Uh, I think she's my cousin."

His cousin gets kidnapped by his greatest enemy, after slaughtering a number of people from Wonder Woman's island? No emotion, just, "Uh, let's go get her."

His cousin is turned evil? No emotion, just a flat line reading of, "Uh, you don't have to do this."

Meanwhile, at the beginning, Supergirl wants to learn what it means to be an earthgirl . . . so Superman takes her to the mall and we get a pretty woman montage. Yup, that's what it means to be an earthgirl!

Batman is Batman, and does Batman stuff. Wonder Woman is Wonder Woman, and does Wonder Woman stuff. Superman is Superman, and does Superman stuff. But it all feels so flat. So dry. So lifeless. I want to see character development. I want to see emotional moments with action based emotional payoffs . . . not action moments with action payoffs. I want emotion, not going through the motions.

The fight scenes are impressive. Even more impressive? If they had taken the time to actually let the characters be true to the emotional elements of the plot instead of just crafting brilliant, brutal fight scenes.

~ Ben

Nano Film Review #26 -- Where the Wild Things Are

Here's my two word review of "Where the Wild Things Are":

Missed. Opportunity.

Yes, it had some AWESOME character design and character portrayal. The effects were amazing, and my wife was disappointed to find out that the facial effects were CGI, but it was nearly impossible to tell where digital effects began and practical effects ended.

But the movie had a weak narrative and a weak resolution. I love Spike Jonze's work, and I expected to love Where the Wild Things Are because of that. Adaptation is an amazing film that anyone who wants to be involved in any type of story telling art needs to watch. Being John Malkovich was a work of beauty, and the puppeteering scenes are breathtaking. His movies aren't traditional, and that's okay. But this movie was unsatisfying.

Where the Wild Things Are, ultimately, COULD've been a heart felt, fun, children's movie that resonated on a deep level with adults. Where the Wild Things Are, instead, was a well crafted downer of an adult therapy session working out childhood issues.

You can't deny the craft and art of this movie, but ultimately it was a MISSED OPPORTUNITY for what could have been a great movie -- a heartfelt, fun, children's movie that resonated on a deep level with adults. Instead, we're given a well crafted downer of an adult therapy session working out childhood issues.

The saddest thing about Where the Wild Things Are is that the great children's movie that could be made from the book will NEVER HAPPEN.

~ Ben

Not-so-Nano Film Review #21 -- Delgo

(SPOILER WARNING. Not that you need to worry about it, since you're not really going to see this movie, are you?)

Needed to get away last night. I have a check from a script I wrote a few months ago. I hadn't been to a movie in a while.

I went to see Delgo for four reasons:

1. I'd heard about it over the years and was curious. It's had a long and tough history, struggling to find a distributor, even with an all star cast and good buzz online.
2. Wanted to see if it really was THAT bad. Couldn't be, could it?
3. Figured I'd be alone in the theater.
4. Knew it wouldn't last long in theaters.

#3 was correct. In fact, according to this article, it averaged to two people per screening last weekend. Wow. This means that #4 is also correct.

And yes, to #2, it was that bad. Mash all the annoying things from Disney movies (but leave out the awesome) with Star Wars semi-mystical mumbo-jumbo and Lord of the Rings battle scenes and you get Delgo, a movie that can't seem to figure out who its audience is or where it wants to steal its plot points from.

I hate to be harsh, but . . . man.

You've got a painfully unfunny slipstick sidekick and a dog-creature that pees on someone, juxtaposed against casual killing (the main character knocks some troll-like creatures to their death miles below, a smile on his face) and assassination and gambling addiction.

All the deaths are off screen, usually with the implication of a stabbing and then a hand falling limp, which lessens the emotional impact of a screen death for children, but also lessens the emotional impact of a screen death for the older viewers that the death was put in the story for in the first place. It happens multiple times, as well.

Add to that confusing, inconsistent character development (Delgo hates the buterfly-ish people because they killed his parents, butterfly-ish people ruin his sacred temple, but he still keeps his date with the butterfly-ish princess, has a painful Disney musical number "we're gonna put all our hopes and dreams and troubles into two or thee sentences for each other so the audience doesn't miss it" only without the music number, flirts with her, almost kisses her, and THEN remembers he's supposed the hate the butterfly-ish people -- the worst example of inconsistency).

Oh, and don't forget the (SPOILER WARNING) bad guy who got killed ten minutes before the end of the movie who turns out not to be dead ten seconds before the end of the movie, but no one noticed before he had time to crawl through not one but TWO cheering armies to get close enough to throw a spear at the heroes who are about to kiss, only so the sidekick can save the day. It's a useless scene that does nothing for the theme or story, and it's not the only scene like that.

The theme of revenge is never fully explored with the characters. It's given lip service by the mentor-character, but when (SPOILER WARNING) Delgo's new friend, a butterfly-ish warrior, is killed in front of his eyes, the killer runs away and Delgo never gets a chance to internalize and use his lesson about revenge. He smashes some tables in anger. But the filmakers are making a movie where the theme deals with revenge, and they make a point to have the murderer of Delgo's friend run away and do not let Delgo confront the theme! Then Delgo goes off to the next part of the story, and it's as if his friend's murder never happened.

Or (SPOILER WARNING -- do I need to say that?) when butterfly-ish princess confronts her mother's murderer, gives her a cool looking flying butterfly-fu kick to knock her into a deep crevice. The princess intends to kill the bad guy. It's the final climax of the movie (except the OTHER bad guy who rises from the dead ten seconds before the credits roll). The princess (the other lead character, next to Delgo) wants to kill the bad guy. Kicks the bad guy toward the crevice. But the bad guy doesn't fall down. Oh, wait, then the ground opens up beneath the bad guy. Good. The princess doesn't kill the bad guy. She wants to. She tries to. She fails. But the bad guy dies anyway. But it wasn't by the princess's hand, so that means it satisfying to us! Bad guy dies! And good princess didn't do it!

The backgrounds and creature design are awesome. The voice acting is decent (there's a big name cast . . . well, they were big names when the movie was made ten years ago). The character design is nice and expressive. Some animation is weak, but forgivable. The popcorn was okay.

Overall, Delgo is a movie that loses sight of its audience, characters, and story, though. Which is amazing, considering it had six credited writers and something like twenty story consultants. (Maybe more.) Is this an example of writing by committee? Is that why it fails to deliver? Or is it an example of a bad script that couldn't be rescued? I don't know where the blame lies. I just know this is the only time I have left a theater really wanting my money back . . . especially in this economy.

Not recommended. But you don't need me to say that. You already didn't see it.

~ Ben

PS -- I do find watching and reading bad examples of storytelling to actually be helpful to me as a writer. You can learn from seeing people do it wrong, just like you can learn from people doing it wrong.

Nano Film Review #20 -- Quantum of Solace

Casino Royale was a great James Bond movie.

Quantum of Solace is a movie with great action scenes.

Big difference.

Quantum of Solace feels like it's just an extension of the previous movie (plot-wise, it is) and a set up for the next movie. Like too many big action movies, it felt like the character moments were little more than pit stops between action sequences.

Can't say I really liked it. Can't say I really didn't. Fits nice and snugly in between. I don't recommend it, really. Maybe as a rental.

~ Ben

Nano Film Review #17 -- Pan's Labyrinth

Just to get this in quickly, since I did the Hellboy II review . . .

Pan's Labyrinth is brutal and beautiful. Savage and whimsical. Realistic and fantastic. Not for the weak hearted, but also not for the callous hearted.

Hey! A "Nano Film Review" that lived up to it's name!

~ Ben

Nano Film Review #15 -- X-Files: I Want to Believe

Did you like he X-Files TV show? Then you will like the movie, because it's just like the show.

~ Ben

Nano Film Review #13 -- The Incredible Hulk

The Incredible Hulk would've been a much better film if I hadn't seen Iron Man first. But I did. So here we are.

Overall, it was a fun movie. Lots of smashing. Lots of running. Lots of blowing stuff up. Lots of references to the original television series. Cool stuff.

Stan Lee's cameo was good . . . but I wish we could've seen more. Lou Ferrigno's cameo was fun. And Bill Bixby's cameo was cool to see.

And the ending? Well, the climax was cliche. And the epilogue was done MUCH better in Iron Man. (Not so spoilerish spoiler: Just like Iron Man, there's a quick zoom to a smile as Bruce Banner accepts who he is. Iron Man did the same thing, but it had been set up throughout the movie. In Hulk, the denouement here sort of -- to me -- canceled out the theme of the movie!) And the "crossover" that you already know about (Tony Stark/Iron Man showing up) was okay.

Other than the ending -- which wasn't bad, it just wasn't great -- it I enjoyed this movie. It didn't have the raw emotion of the first Hulk movie. But that's okay.

~ Ben

Disney Admits Mistake in Prince Caspian Release

Really? You think?

Disney is admitting that maybe releasing Prince Caspian the week after Iron Man and the week before Indiana Jones might not have been a good idea.

I think Iron Man surprised everyone, I guess. Indy, with name recognition and the hype machine, was going to do as well as it did, though. And releasing Caspian less than a week before Indy was NOT a good idea.

~ Ben

Indiana Jones and the Capitalist Pig Propaganda Machine

This . . .

Or this . . .

You decide . . .

Seems the Communists are none-too-happy about their portrayal in the latest Indiana Jones movie.

Best quote of the story: "It's rubbish ... In 1957 the communists did not run with crystal skulls throughout the U.S. Why should we agree to that sort of lie and let the West trick our youth?"

Oh. They didn't? Darn it all, I was tricked!

My question: does the Russian Communist party REALLY think their youth are THAT gullible?

And the Russian Communist party is calling Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Lost Skull propaganda.

Uh, hello, pot? The kettle called. He's upset that you're calling him black.

Wow.

~ Ben

* The Communist Propaganda poster says, "It's hard to feed so many mouths."

Nano Film Review #12 -- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Lost Skull

Hm.

Yes.

So I went to the midnight show. For Narnia, I felt old. I did not go to the MIDNIGHT show, I went to the NOON show. Weak!

This time I powered through. I'd never seen Indy on the big screen. This was my chance.

My thoughts on the film? It was good. It was a good Indiana Jones movie. Lots of action. Funny one liners. A few references to George Lucas movies (American Graffiti and Star Wars both come to mind -- watch for a classic Harrison Ford line). Absurd getaways. Classic cliffhanger serial style. Fun. It was by the numbers. If I were to rate all the Indiana Jones movies (like a good geek does), this would come third.

Shia Lebeouf wasn't bad. His character actually had some genuine emotional moments, and while he wasn't a buffoon he was impulsive and caused problems. That worked for me. It was fun to see Karen Allen return as Indy's old flame from the first movie, and it seemed like she had more to do in this one. Marcus Brody gets in a good shot at stopping the bad guys without even really being in the film. And Harrison Ford, well, I've never not liked him in a movie.

But overall, the movie felt flat. And I can't place my finger on why. I don't think it was the climax (for those haters of the climax, remember that a 500 year old knight showed up at the end of the third movie). It might have been the exposition that was horribly spelled out at the end (really, that was the best you could do to explain things to the audience that they'd mostly figured out already?). It just felt like they were going through the motions.

So . . . overall, a fun movie. But little more than that.

Ah, but . . . the denouement got me worried for a moment. It was a nice moment, and then something happened that you just about cringe for, but in true Indiana Jones fashion, at the last second Indy swoops in and saves the day. Or moment. Or whatever.

~ Ben

SPOILER (although if you know anything about the movie, you already know about this):

Indiana Jones and Han Solo are now part of the same universe. My theory about the movie linking the two was correct.

Kingdom of the lost Skull features aliens who look like the aliens in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind was followed by a "sort of" sequel in E.T. (To me, E.T. was the sequel to Close Encounters, if not literally than "spiritually".)

E.T.-like creatures were in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

And Han Solo is in the Star Wars universe.

A stretch? Heck yeah! But a little fun, if lame.

Nano Film Review #11 -- Prince Caspian

I'm just going to cut to the chase:

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian was amazing.

It was more intense than the first film, and younger children may be disturbed by that. Violence has series consequences in this movie. So do mistakes. And our four heroes make some serious mistakes.

But the movie itself is beautiful. And the themes and messages in the movie, well, they're there if you're looking for them.

I was a little worried about this movie, though. The first one was, to me, really well done. All the things I like about the first movie were in this one, only better. (I am hoping for an extended edition, though.)

So, Speed Racer is going to be kicked to the curb by Narnia. Too bad, I liked Speed Racer. It'll be interesting to see how Iron Man holds up this weekend. People are predicting Narnia to knock it out of the top slot. Next weekend sees the new Indiana Jones movie. How will the Narnians fare against the man with the whip?

~ Ben

Round Up

Some cool things from the web:

The Substitute Teacher

By my friend Josh. I would have LOVED to have that guy in my classroom on the days I was gone.

Weird, Wild Stuff

And awesome. My friend Time Baron is one of the most out there artists I know. Just wild!

New Hulk Trailer

Wow, does this movie look awesome. I liked the first one. But this one looks good, too.

Speed Racer, season 1, free online

Seriously? You mean, on the same website where you can watch the entire series of both the original Battlestar Galactica and Galactica: 1980 (except the first three episodes which were the only three episodes worth watching of that series . . . well, except for the episode about the final fate of Starbuck) online? And new episodes of the new series? And the episode of Buck Rogers that guest starred Gary Coleman? Yes. The same. Free and legal, you too can watch the wonder than is Hulu.

I don't have cable, but around noon the day after it airs, they post the new episode of the new Battlestar Galactica series. 

~ Ben

Nano Film Review #8 -- There Will Be Blood

Well, I finally saw it. I felt like I should, it being nominated for so many rewards and stuff.

It was an interesting movie to watch. I couldn't stop watching Daniel Day Lewis as Daniel Plainview, but his character is completely unlikable. Which was sort of the point.

To me, the movie was almost great. There was just something missing. Redemption, maybe? The movie is the opposite of what we normally get in storytelling. The two main characters spiral downward, flirting with redemption but ultimately rejecting it. A third main character manages to pull himself from the spiral, a welcome relief.

But the acting is superb. Daniel Day Lewis is awesome. The cinematography is beautiful. And I love that so much happens off screen. This film, for the most part, focuses completely and utterly on one self-absorbed man. And there are a number of scenes that reinforce that powerfully -- they focus on that one man. Things are happening around him, but the camera is on him.

All told, I recommend the movie if you want a character study of a corruption and ambition featuring an incredible actor.

I saw it in the theater. (Which was a weird experience itself.) It's now available on DVD.

Oh, it also seems to have spawned into some sort of meme on Youtube and the interweb, based around the "milkshake" line from the film. Most are lame. Really lame. However, Saturday Night Live did a really funny sketch featuring the characters from There Will Be Blood and No Country for Old Men. And Juno. If you plan on seeing the movie, I recommend staying away from those as much as you can until after you've seen it. If you don't plan on seeing it, or alreay have . . . click below:

Nano Film Review #7 -- New Frontier

New Frontier is the movie that superhero fans are going to be talking about for years to come.

I predict that it will be on the top of many fan's lists of favorite superhero movies of all time.

It may even unseat the original Superman on some people's lists. (Not mine, but some people's.)

New Frontier is the adaptation of Darwin Cooke's comic book New Frontier vol. 1 and New Frontier vol. 2. (There's also the amazing New Frontier Absolute Edition which I can only dream about.) The comic book itself is already illustrated to look like animation storyboards.

I got a look at an advance copy of the movie. And I just have to say, this movie was amazing. There is some graphic violence that caught me off guard at first, although it fit the world it was portraying.

If it weren't for Christopher Reeve, this New Frontier Superman would probably become THE Superman in my mind. This New Frontier Wonder Woman may become THE Wonder Woman in my mind.

New Frontier makes every comic book direct to DVD animated product to this date look bad. Ultimate Avengers I and II and Iron Man have nothing on this. Turok, while a well made movie on its own, is nowhere near as strong as this.

Amazing.

On shelves February 26 in a Single Disk DVD, Two Disk Special Edition, and, winner of the new format war, Blu-Ray.

~ Ben

Nano Film Review #6 -- Turok: Son of Stone

Have you read my review of Dragonlance and don't want to waste your time reading my review of Turok? Just think of all the things I said about Dragonlance and make them the opposite and you get my review of Turok.

To start with, this movie is brutal. It would have received an R rating for sure had it been released in theaters.

This direct to video fantasy animated movie is everything Dragonlance is not. It is exciting, has characters you care about, smooth animation, and a strong story line.

This movie is 2D, but the animation style suits the story.

I do not recommend this movie for younger viewers. I don't recommend this movie for many older viewers, to be honest. It is a violent film about a violent world. It is, however, well made and an interesting counterpoint to Dragonlance.

Now if we could just have something that is in between the two. Something this well made, but with a redeeming storyline . . .

~ Ben

Nano Film Review #5 -- Dragonlance: Dragons of the Autumn Twilight

Wow.

Just. Wow.

I bought this because it is a direct to video fantasy animated product. From a professional standpoint, it makes sense for me to watch.

I couldn't.

It took three false starts for me to watch this.

The movie starts with a five minute history lesson about the world of the story. And it's not exciting history, it's boring history with slow paced, uninteresting visuals.

We then get into the story, which is animated to look like '80's Saturday morning cartoons. Benefit of the doubt time: they may have done this on purpose. Practically speaking time: is there one good reason to do this on purpose?

Then there are the dragons, which are rendered to look like '90's Saturday morning 3D animation cartoons.

Seriously. It looks like they did a mash up with some old 80's fantasy cartoon and some old 90's fantasy cartoon.

When the 80's-style 2D and the 90's-style 3D interact, it is truly difficult to watch.

I cannot imagine what was going on behind the scenes for this to be the product they came out with.

Voice acting was good. Nothing outstanding, but decent. They had a strong pool of voice actors here. The story was a little hard to follow, but that may have been because it was so difficult to watch.

Do not waste your money on this.

~ Ben

PS -- I went a bit long on this because, well, I wanted everyone to know the serious nature of my warning. Do not watch this movie. Not because it's related to Dungeons and Dragons and your Sunday school teacher told you not to. Because it's TERRIBLE. Do not judge a direct to DVD movie by its cover. The animation looks NOTHING like the box art.

PPS -- They misspelled Michael Rosenbaum's name in the end credits!!! Yes, folks, they spellend it with an "N".

Nano Film Review #4 -- Cloverfield

Here's some math for you:

[(B - A) x 1000%] + (G/LotR) + H = C

In other words: Blair Witch Project minus annoying characters and lame "ad libbed dialogue"and then multiplied by about 1000% good filmmaking, added to Godzilla divided by Lord of the Rings style monsters, plus some real heart equals Cloverfield.

Ah, it's late. How about this:

Cloverfield = Awesome

~ Ben

PS -- Stick around for the credits. NOT because of the back-masking message at the end, but to hear the bombastic "Cloverfield Overture", that harkens back to the original Godzilla theme music and classic B-movies.

Nano Review #3 -- Meet the Robinsons

Two words:

Awe. Some.

Seventeen more words:

What a great time travel story! This is what good time travel is about: choices and consequences!

And thirty-nine (two of which are contractions) more words:

Doesn't hurt that it has believable and likable characters and a tight plot. I've heard this compared to Pixar's movies and I would jump on that bandwagon. This story had heart, and followed through in all the right ways.

Finally, twenty-one more words:

I was relieved, however, to find that they did not steal TimeFlyz's thunder with the "time travel twist ending" they used.

~ Ben

Nano Film Review #2 -- Renaissance

Finally, an animate feature in which the animation serves the story. A noir mystery set in the Paris of the future, the animation is a stark black and white with very little grey. The color scheme is used to great effect and heavily influences the mood and when the film was done, I couldn't help feeling that this story was a story that could have been live action . . . but shouldn't be. Rife with film-noir elements -- double crosses, revelations, counter-revelations, woman in peril, good cop with a past in a bad system -- the animation and future setting elevates above being a good genre film and makes it a good film in general.

~ Ben

Nano Film Review #1 -- Beowolf

Here's my review for the recent screen adaptation of Beowulf:

Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary, you're two of the most creative writers in Hollywood and that's the best ending you guys could come up with? Really? Robert Zemeckis, why was it animated again? Animation works best when it's stylized to serve the film. Flesh and blood characters would have probably elevated this movie from interesting technological achievement to engaging retelling of an age old story.

Maybe I should have seen it in IMAX 3D.

~ Ben